Start Small and Find Fulfilment: a how-to article

Natasha Nicholas explores ways to live with purpose and find meaning in your life.

“You don’t have to be so caught up in finding a big purpose in life,” says Nur Metalynn Binte Rizal, 20, a recent graduate from Raffles Institution, “it’s okay to just have it be small.”

Like many young adults, Ms Rizal is still trying to navigate her purpose in life, but she places more importance on appreciating what she has and experiencing happiness.

According to an article by Today Online, the most common reply of youths when asked about their life goals was: ”I don’t know”. This is part of the journey towards finding meaning and purpose in life.

Mr Nathaniel Chia, 33, a student counsellor from Ngee Ann Polytechnic, led a talk to aid youths with this very issue.

The talk delves into how meaning, which helps in living with purpose, is significant but often neglected as it is not easily perceived.

Based on his talk, here are some steps to take to live with purpose.

1. Identify your values

“Values define your beliefs,” says Mr Chia, “Beliefs define your purpose. Purpose defines what you do.”

He explains that when we try to live with purpose, we usually end up focusing on our actions and behaviour instead of our values, which is the root of the problem.

Mr Chia recommends taking an online test by the VIA Insitute on Character to discover what values you hold dear.

Miss Rizal explained that it is a process of elimination for her. “You're not really that conscious that you're identifying your values, but you know what doesn't sit right with you,” says Ms Rizal.

2. Know your beliefs

“When you start finding value in the things you do [is] when your beliefs start to shape up,” says Mr Chia.

He observed that people often end up with a sense of connection to something bigger than themselves once their values translate into their beliefs.

Knowing your beliefs will help you find a way to contribute to your own world.

3. Focus on what feels meaningful to you

Mr Chia shares that when there is value for you in doing something, it becomes meaningful.

Ms Rizal finds that seeing if something makes you happy or does you good is a litmus test to find what is meaningful to you.

She also mentions that finding meaning in simple activities such as mealtimes and daily activities can be beneficial.

4. Seek what positively affects others

Mr Chia recommended that when seeking to positively affect others and when trying to find what works, “just ask them”.

He elaborates that in Asian societies we often expect each other to understand what we want without having to verbalise it, and asking is a simple solution.

Creating a safe space for others to be around and having an affective presence are some ways that Ms Rizal finds helpful in positively affecting others.

5. Create your own meaning

Miss Rizal focuses on the importance of finding it out by yourself instead of basing it on others, and to let yourself be happy when you are.

“Meaning is very important, it’s in the middle of everything we do,” says Mr Chia.

When you link your values to your beliefs, you can start making changes in your behaviour, and thus create meaning, he elaborates.

Ultimately, Mr Chia hopes to encourage people as they endeavour to find their purpose in life.

“Values give our life meaning, even if it means to feel pain,” says Mr Chia, “ give it a try.”